Joke sms Shayari

Laloo bada chalak hai (in URDU)
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he..Joke sms shayari
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !(
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,

at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy
2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!! By Baasha (

Once a chunti saw a dali (IN URDU)
Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy .By Naila

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa afte
Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing. By Kalsoom (

Girls are like roads
Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are. By Rock

Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES(In Urdu)
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI.By Baasha

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny
Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born. by jazzy

Two Lovers Plan to die
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

Ik raat bahu ne (In Urdu)
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii sms Jokes

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love Joke sms shayari
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum (In URDU)
Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elde)r to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime! (
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife
A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa. By asif ( Joke sms shayari

Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave Joke sms shayari
Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.

My wife ran away with my best friend.
My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.

Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings f~cked

What do you call a wife who is sexy
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour! sweet sms jokes

Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.

Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.

A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''

A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed

Mother to Teenage Daughter
Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S
what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!!By Uzzal

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...(In Hindi)
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!By Uzzal

After a quarrel, a husband said
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."By Uzzal

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?(In Hindi)
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!By Uzzal

Man:what is million years to u?
Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin. Joke sms shayari
God:wait a second....By Uzzal

sardar ji to his friend:
sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.By Haris Zia (

Husband to a newly wed Wife
Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.By Saba(

Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip! hira_sub

in Urdu Joke sms shayari
Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain adil(not doing love)mehboob .

A mother bought her son a $39 Halloween costume to scare his friends "Should I take the price tag off?", the boy asked. "Leave it on," his mother replied. "We'll scare your father too Irfan Ali Arain.(Copyright

In Urdu
Son:Papa,Sab log Shadi Karke Pareshan hain,To Shadi Kyo Karte Hain.?Papa:Beta,Akal Badaam Khane se nahi,Thokar Khake Ati He Anusheel Jauhari From Gwalior .(

A young man asked a priest.........
Father!Is it a sin to sleep with a girl?....
Priest!N my child....But problem is that u guys never SLEEP....poppy

a man gave his testes to boy to play.they threw moni on him he pressurisd them and man dead fakhar abbas

i want to fuck u from day to late night so that u get pragnant.and i will kill ur child so that i got lot of money from insurance policy of ur child imtiyaz

1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon
Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay. .(
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen............. maham khan

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever Cheema_303.(

How Do U Tell To UR Girlfriend If U Want 2 go 2 Toilet During Dinner? Darling,I've 2 Shake Hands with a Close friend of MIne Whom I'm Going 2 introduce 2 u Later.Rocky .

One is looking very upset by thinking that.......
"HOW HIS SISTER HAS 2 BRITHERS AND HE HAS ONLY ONE"Hanish

Two ladies were working in a furniture shop,one for ELLERINES and other one was working for WONDER furniture shop they use to take the same bus at same stop at the same time. So other day they were waiting until late and the lady thats works for WONDER said "I WONDER WHY THIS BUS IS LATE" and the other lady didnt want to be left out she said "I ELLERINES WHATS WRONG? Nonto .()

A womman was bragging to her neighbour about her son, a university student. "Our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have tio go to the dictionary," said a proud mom. "You are lucky, "the neighbour said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"POROZA

In Urdu
a kid says to teacher:techer meri ammi ko bacha hojaye ga.
teacher says: yes
kid:meri anty ko bacha ho jayega.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher aap ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher is munni ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher no beta ye abhi bohat choti hay.
kid : dekha munni men ne kaha tha na kuch nahi hoga Lucky

Sadham meets kajol n asks her " how is ur life ?" , kajol says " Kabie khushi kabie gham!" n kajol asks Sadham " how about u? " n he says " kabie BUSH kabie BOMB"!!!!!!!Haby

teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter lucky

NEWTONS LAW OF LOVE:- LOVE CAN NEITHER B CREATED NOR DESTROYD BUT IT CAN ONLY B CHNGD FRM ONE GRL TO ANTHR WID D LOSS OF MONEY murtuza-09924853312 .(

A MAN PUT A LAMP ON HIS WIFE HEAD AND SAID TO HER IF YOU LIED THESE LAMP WILL TURN ON DO YOU UNDERSTAND ????? SHE SAID YES ....
THE LAMP TURNED ON !!!!Squall.

What a bad day 4 elisa! her mom & dad went out 2 a church so she decided 2 invite her boyfriend Dipopo 2 come with his friend Khali bcoz she's left alone @ home.The 2 arrived in time, her parents came back unexpectedly 4rom Church @ she told Dipopo 2 hide under the bed & khali ot top of the wadrop@ her bedroom, both of them went 2 her bedroom. Her dad asked how was her day? & she said,"mmmmm,,,, fine" & her Mom said,"The 1 who is on top knows everythin(refering 2 God with a finger)" emmidiatly Khali had that, he jumped down from the wadrop & said, the 1 who knows everything is the 1 under the bed(Dipopo)............ PAPIRO .(

Ek aadmi Ki Biwi Gum Ho gaiee. Who Ramji ke Mandir gaya. Ramji ne kaha, Wats baaju mein Viraajmaan Hanuman se Prarthana kar, meri bhi unho ne dhoondhi thi.Darshan .(

One night, Mooch was making love for the first time after the wedding. She saw it all on TV but the husband was like, "Man, you cry lke the virgin but you know how to give it all to me, in all angles to fuck it" Mpho

Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??.
Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY. Mahiwaal

Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance Joke sms shayari
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage .
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy Mahiwaal

Q-Why is reading a Playboy/Playgirl magazine like reading National Geographic?.(A-U get 2 see many great places u dont get 2 visitDyson

Judge-y did u attack tat young man?
Old lady- he grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on d bed & shouted APRIL FOOL!Dyson.(

A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside" shankar .(

(In Urdu)
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH MUJHE BAHUT PATLE DAST AA RAHE HAI
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH BAHUT PATLE
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- SAABH ITNE PATLE KI SMS PADNE VALLA KULLA KAR LE MOHIT ADLAKHA .(Copyright

(In Urdu)
Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga......

eight man r raping a woman ..the woman is laughing nonstop ..so after the men get bugged n ask her y she laughing ..she replies " mujhe AIDS hai "*******RocKy .(

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING djlynn

Hindi
question:NISAR kaise paida hua ????
answer:jawani janeman haseen dilruba mil do dil jawan NISAR hogaya 2152152(shiraz)

Naukarani: malkan ap udaas kyun hai
Malkan: tumhare sahab office ki kisi larki se payyar karte hai (
Naukarani: nahiiiiin, sahab mujhe dokha nahi de sakte.tayyab 0345-6493592

Man ask God " God Y U make women so BEAUTIFUL? God so that u can LUV her.
Men but Y u make her so STUPID? God says so that she can LUV U.......Osmana

A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes. Osman 0301-4876609

A convicted rapist was sentenced to a death penalty.he was 2 choose between being hanged or being injected with a seringe with HIV/AIDS blood.he choose to be injected with AIDS, after they have finished with him he never stoped laughing and they asked why r u laughing he just wispered and say i have put on a condom.mabenza (

Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot. Osman 0301-4876609


What is the difference between secretary & private secretary? Ans: secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR. Osman 0301-4876609

Difference b/w panties of 1970 & 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties. Osman 0301-4876609

Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex..
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?..canored Joke sms shayari

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.(Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
Osman 0301-4876609

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her
left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.Osman 0301-4876609

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.(Osman 0301-4876609

A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments. shana (

class me teacher lacture de raha tha, bachon ne dekha us ki zip khuli hui hai, bachay hansne lagay,
Teacher: kyun hans rahe ho, ab agar hansay ko bahir nikaal ke khara ker dunga. Prince

A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?(
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.

what is the diffrent between
Himami & Sunami?
Himami is face wash,
Sunami is total wash. sayalisalih +919895137022

A job in Railways.
Salary 15000/-,
job profile:-When the
headlight of the Engine
is not working you
have to run infront of
the train with a torch,
So hurry up...
wish u all the best.sayalisalih +919895137022

What if goctors
started directing
movies?
Here are eg:
1.stethoscopukal
katha parayunnu.
2.Oru ECG diary
kuruppu..
3.Meerayude CT yum
muthuvinte X-Rayum
4.Vasanthiyum aidsum
pinne nhanum
5.Ayal BP
edukkugayanu.
6.MBBS penninu MD
payyan
7.Sister marude
shradhayku.
8.Neru ariyan MRI
9.Syringe Madhavan.
10.BDS MOOSA
11.Compounder raman.
12.Meenathil surgery.
13.Parakum gulika.
14.Sister vannu
vilichappol.(A)
15.The
mortuary.(horror) sayalisalih +919895137022